Its been too long.

I have changed my blog again... yes, yes, I know, again. But.... I am thinking this one is going to stick. For a couple of reasons:
1. It is pink
2. It has a tree. I am sort of obsessed with trees lately. What they can symbolize. Trees start out so tiny, but over time, they grow and grow. They become huge, and it is not overnight that this happens. It is over many seasons of life, over times that could possibly have seemed very drawn out, but, the trees have life and continue to grow. That is how I feel that I am right now. I am growing in the Lord, and although some of the changes are not happening over night, over time, he is growing me into the person he wants me to be.
3. It has hearts on the tree.. lets just be honest, I love hearts and pink, they make me happy. So it is sort of like a love tree if you will :)

I have not written in quite a while, so prepare for this post to long....

While, we are still on the subject of the change of my blogs look, I would like to talk about the quote I have underneath my name. I have been looking at many things that Mother Teresa said during her lifetime. What an amazing woman she was, with such a servants heart. If only I had a servants heart like that. I had a hard time choosing a quote of hers that I wanted to go under my name on my blog.. but I decided on the one above. I wanted to write a few of other quotes, because I just feel they are worthy to be displayed.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Mother Teresa
Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own. Mother Teresa
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. Mother Teresa
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa
If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it. Mother Teresa
It is a kingly act to assist the fallen. Mother Teresa
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish. Mother Teresa

I can't help but want to know this woman. We have all heard about her from one time or another, but just look at some of the quotes. One can clearly see the love she had for others through the words that she spoke. What a testimony. What a testimony to love until it hurts, love when you don't feel like it. To stop being so self-centered and to look at the world around you for a moment, and somehow understand the depravity that is around you. To keep going, to understand that there are hard times, but the Lord's love is a constant. To love deeply, and intentionally. What a message she has. This is a message I am convicted by when seeing, because I do not do these things nearly enough.

The quote that made me giggle a bit was the quote that says, "I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I think in times of hardship, or pain, and growth (being as these things can sometimes be intertwined with one another) we may think that in our heads. Oh, Lord, not anything else, I know you know me far better than I could ever know myself, but if you could just refrain from making me go through something else.. that would be wonderful. Maybe you don't do this, but I DEFINITELY do. Even when talking with my good friend Robin today, I found us talking about things just being piled on and just feeling a little exhausted. But, I think in these times, this is when we need to say, Thank you Lord for giving me Grace, and help me to understand your love and grace more. Let it abound in me through the great works you are doing in my life. Man, the Lord is awesome. I find myself being convicted often more than not lately... convicted of not being content in my circumstances.... where the Lord has put me. Not BELIEVING that God has put me here purposely. Why do I do that??? This is a question that I keep asking myself. I also keep, constantly, being told by my Mimi that I am not grateful for where I am at this moment. Not grateful for this resting period. I think she is right to a certain degree... but I will add, I am trying. Trying is not always obedience however.

I am in a place at the moment, that I am thinking that every college graduate goes through. A time in which they have NO CLUE where the next step is. Sure, I know what I want to do... at least I think I do. I know I want to teach... but there is still on this preliminary things I have to do before even being hired. Be accepted into a program, study for the test, take the test, go to job fairs and interviews, Lord-willing get a job, and then do the rest of the requirements for teaching. As I am writing this, I am seeing how much I am not trusting the Lord. I just want to succeed, I rationalize... but I need to also realize that the Lord has a far greater plan than I have probably even imagined. It is just getting into that mind-set and resting in it, that I have not quite figured out how to do yet.

I am joining my step-study at church. I accidentally slept through it last week, so tomorrow will be the first time. I think it will be hard, but good. Taking a look at all my junk is never fun, BUT... there is such a great amount of joy in seeing Christ move and love on me through and despite all of my dirtiness!! Thank you sweet Jesus for Grace!!

Love you guys, thanks for hanging in there if you read this all. Love you!