I was going through some old stuff, and this is something that I wrote around last February and I just thought it was interesting. I agree with a lot of things that I wrote, but I can also see many different areas that I see a little differently now.
This was something I wrote awhile ago:
We all want love. We want to know that there is a person out there with whom they WILL never leave us, forsake us, or stop caring for us. Some people find this in form of friends, other in the form of boyfriends, others even in being physical with a person. Anything so that we can feel loved. The question that comes up though is, do we expect too much? Do we jump in too fast, do we become not ourselves because we believe in what that relationship could be. I've loved a lot of people in my life. I can genuinely say that I have loved. I have expected things from them that aren't realistic, and also things that are realistic. But people let you down. Things aren't what they seem. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want it, things aren't perfect. But it is about finding that person that will take you for what you are. Not for what they want you to be. Not what they think you are, but for them to take you FULLY for who you are, the good and the bad. The annoying and the funny; and the amazing. That is what love is. Love is when you are soo annoyed and mad at that person, you just want to be with them.. you want to be mad together. When they make you soo mad it is almost funny because of how dumb it is. Love will let you down. Love is not everything it seems, but its vital to life. Love is important. You may love, genuinely, wholly love somebody and they may never know it, but you have and will continue to love that person. What matters is that you know who you are, what you are about, and understand that its important to be true to yourself. Expect nothing, give everything. Don't hide who you are, embrace yourself. Everyone says guard your heart, I have learned either way, go in it whole heartedly, love. It will end up right, pray about it, follow what you feel the Lord is telling you. It will be hard, it will be tough, and there will be tears along the road. But in the end, True Love will be found- if its through a friend, a boyfriend (finance, husband, ect), or family. God is the only one that can love us perfectly and know what we need. Know that fact, embrace it, know people will mess up, and live.
Thoughts about this entry now:
Even though it has not be a full year since this entry, I do not know if I agree with everything in it. I think that I had the right mindset when writing it, but I think I have become a little bit more careful with my heart than I used to be. I have always been that person that puts their whole heart into everything. (well that is a pretty bold statement, so let's just say most things) This year has been crazy, but the Lord has taught me so much. He has taught me that only Perfect love can come from Him. Not from anyone else. We will be let down. In fact, we will be let down continuously, BUT the Lord will never let us down. NEVER: now, I have also learned that that does not mean we will not encounter sadness along the road!! :) Oh no my friend, we are bound to have tears along the road, because we are human, and there are many lessons along the way. There is encouragement in the journey though, we know we have Hope! We know for a fact there is Hope in the end of the journey because we will be with our Perfect, Sweet Jesus! And I really do believe the Lord longs to give us joy, but sometimes things will be hard, and may be hard for awhile. I do think it is a lot of how you handle it. This week has been a hard "handling it well" week for me, but I also think that we will have those weeks. We will have those weeks when it is extremely hard, and we don't know if we can go another step! But, the encouraging thing about that is, Joy does come in the morning!! For some reason, I have had some hard nights this week, but when the morning comes I am joyful. Where I would like to say that that has lasted the entire day this week, I can't, but I just have really been thinking about how true it is that JOY DOES COME IN THE MORNING!! Thank you Jesus!! :)
There have been a lot of things that are heavy on my heart this week, and just things that I have constantly been praying about, and this morning I looked at my devotional, and low and behold, something amazing was there! (The Lord knows when I need to hear something)
When the cloud remained... The Israelites... did not set out. Numbers 9:19
The psalmist said, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" (Ps 40:1) And what God did for the Old Testament Saints, He will do for believers down through the ages, yet He will often keep us waiting. Must we wait when we are face to face with a threatening enemy, surrounded by danger or fear, or belown an unstable rock? Would this not be the time to fold our tents and leave? Have we not already suffered to the point of total collapse? Can we not exchange the sweltering heat for "green patures... (and) quiet waters" (Ps 23:2)? When God sends no answer and "the cloud remains", we must wait. Yet we can do so with full assurance of God's provision of manna, water from the rock, shelter, and protection from our enemies.
Young person, wait! Do not be in such a hurry to make a change! Minister, Stay at your post! You must wait where you are until the cloud clearly begins to move. Wait for the Lord to give good pleasure to you! He will not be late!
Streams in the Desert
Just wanted to share all this with ya'll!! It was encouraging to me... Love you guys, thanks for listening!! :)
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