Thursday, November 8, 2007

Look No Further Ladies...

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

Before I write this, I would like to preface this post with the fact that this is not a post about how I hate men- or how men need to step up their game. I think many times as single Christian women, we get caught up in the opinion that "Christian men need to stop acting like boys, and start acting like men." We get caught up in the fact that it would be nice to actually see someone our age fall, but instead of sitting in the hole for awhile and mulling over the sin that got them in the hole, perhaps, actually get up and keep running. While this is a thought that I know many of my friends and I tend to think a lot, and perhaps talk about, this post is more directed at women. I think we are almost just as much at fault as the men that we call boys. So... please do not look at this post as saying that men are inherintly evil, and that ALL men are the same, and they will never change. This post is about how women need to check their hearts before we go start downing every Christian male we come across. (And trust me, I am preaching to the choir on this one.)
As single Christian women, I belive that we have become complacent with what we THINK we deserve... which is often times way below what we actually do deserve. (I would also like to state, technically we do not deserve anything, but through Christ's sacrifice, he has made it where can be seen as worthy of love) We see POTENTIAL, and we SETTLE. We tell ourselves, "Oh, he is amazing, and it will only get better when we go deeper into our relationship." Then, when the male ends up not meeting our endless list of expectations, we blame him for not being a "man", when in all actuality, we were the ones that put the unreal expectations on someone we knew might not meet the standards that we had in the first place. We don't examine our hearts and minds, nope, it is automatically the males fault. This is where I believe we are greatly at fault, and also where the quote comes into play that I have at the beginning of the post. If our our hearts are so hidden in Christ that that is where the male has to go to find it: I really, honestly, believe that we will check ourselves before we start to go after, and settle for potential. Now, please, do not get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with potential. Really, we are all at a stage of potential, because we are all running to race (Christians) towards Christ. We all have to start somewhere, but I believe when you are hidden in Christ, you will not settle for anything less than the Lord's best for you.
Ladies, do you realize that the Lord goes over and beyond any kind of expectation of love that we could possibly have? We all listen to these beautiful love songs, and most of us long for someone that could love and romance us in that way. The fact of the matter is that we HAVE someone to love and romance us. We have Him, our amazing Prince, standing in front of us: begging us to allow him to show us our beauty through his sacrifice and love. He loves us in more REAL ways, and for more reasons than we can fathom or imagine. He even loves our ugliest parts. (When I say our ugly parts, I am referring to our deepest disappointments that we have in ourselves, the parts of us that we are afraid if anyone were to find out, they would surely never speak to us again, let alone love us through.) SO, why do we go about searching for it in the males that are present around us, before we are founded in HIM? Why do we do the whole "male search" escapade, before checking our hearts, and making sure that they are secure in Him, and Him alone? We will never find what we are looking for until we know that we are secure in Him. Until we see our beauty from the vantage point of His sweet Grace, we are probably going to fail in our search for our boyfriends, or even more honestly, our search for our future husbands.
This really dawned on me this morning when I was driving to go get my coffee and a bagel. I was listening to some music, and I just realized that everything we long for romantically can be found through HIM. Although this is, in essence, a simple concept, I believe it is sometimes hard to grasp. We get so caught up in what we have done, how we have messed up, and any other reason that we can think of that no one would love us, that we run and try to find fulfillment in everything else other than the Lord. When our Sweet, Wonderful, Merciful, Wonderful Savior is waiting for us to run to Him.

Here are some verses that were encouraging to me this morning:
No, in all these things we are more than conquerers, through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither, death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord!
Romans 8:37-39
For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong!!! (I added the exclamation marks :))
2 Corinthians 12:10
In Him, we have redemption through blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace. Which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on Earth.
Ephesians 1:7-10
Ladies, His love really does swim in the deepest oceans of fear; He IS HERE, and it is not another empty promise, but a real, true statement! Within love, we must know that there is grace, and in Christ, there is an unending amount of grace.
Some of the lyrics from Overwhelm me:
Take not that presence from me, for I desire to know you more, more.
For you are worthy of all, you are worthy of all I am and more, more.
I need to set my mind on things above, on the holiness and glory of my God.
In the heavens and in my heart, you created a mountain, and you set a spark that grew into a flame... That burns deeply for you.
Overwhelm me, take from this place, and put in the place where you are.
Overwhelm me, shake the ground I stand on, I want to be dependent on You, and only You!

Love you guys, hope this wasn't too heavy. This has just been on my mind, and I promise this is not directed towards anyone particular, but just something that just really was on my heart this morning. LOVE YOU ALL!! :)


2 comments:

Ang said...

One thing I came to, as well, as far as guys and girls disappointing eachother in relationships, is that we tend to idolize one another and place expectations on them that are impossible for them to fill. And because we idolize them so much, it upsets us when they don't live up to those expectations. That is something that is a failure on both the part of men and women, and as Christians, we know better than that. Awesome insight, Ashley!

Stephanie said...

Ashley, that was beautiful and oh so true. I really needed to read what you wrote! We are all on a spiritual journey and the truth is none of us ever "arrive." To set unrealistic standards on men where they are bound to fail completely disregards what Christ did for these men on the cross. I want to be someone who can freely accept and freely give grace, and stir my boyfriend's heart more for the Lord by encouragement.