In His Time

Days like today are what I like to call "thinking days". There are a lot of things that are on my heart and mind today, and sometimes on these days, they are the times when during the day I just want to be left alone awhile so that I can think. These are the days when thinking and analyzing things may be considered a good thing, rather than a bad thing. (At times when I analyze things, I tend to over analyze them, and thus drive myself insane.)
Everything is in His time.... I think we all to a certain degree know this, but understanding this fact is a whole different arena. Many times we know the truth, but we don't choose to believe or trust that it is right and better than what we may have planned. For all of you that know me, you know how much I love my grandparents. I really have been blessed to have such an amazing family, and grandparents who love the Lord and show me daily what it is to walk in his will. I really like to sing. My Mimi really likes to play the piano, so sometimes we talk about music, or show each other different songs, and then Mimi (who is amazing and can play by ear) will play the songs on the piano, and I will sometimes sing along. It is a good time. Today, I came over to their house and we were eating lunch and just chatting about different things. We started to talk about everything that I am worried about... and that is a lot. I really think that if I did not worry, I would have a lot of idle time on my hands. Anyways, she was like, I have a song for you to look at. She brought out the hymnal. (Which I believe was my Nana's... who I will refer to in a second) And she showed me this song called "In His Time".
The words go:
In his time, in his time
he makes all things beautiful in his time
Lord, please show me every day, As you're teaching my Your way
That You do just what You say in Your time
In Your time, In Your time
You make all things beautiful in Your time
Lord, my life to You I bring; May each song I have to sing
Be to you a lovely thing in your time

Then, she went in the other room and played the song for me. Its beautiful. For some reason, anytime anyone plays the piano, I automatically think about my Nana. My Nana was an amazing woman, and I had the opportunity of getting to know while she lived with my Mimi. Although, I did not get to experience her in her prime, I got to see her in her hardest time. She had dementia when she moved down here. I watched her as she lost a lot of her memories, and then different flashes of things would come back to her. She was disoriented a lot of the time, but she still had this sense of peace about her. I watched as the family reacted and saw how they dealt with my Nana loosing a lot of the memories that she once so readily could share. But, what was amazing to me throughout the whole thing is, that Nana never lost her love and want for the Lord. She was constantly talking about His Goodness, or His grace, or carrying the Bible around saying she was going to church. (And if you told her it was not Wednesday or Sunday, she would get a little miffed!) But, I just watched how, even through her memory loss, the love she knew, never left her, and she knew that. She may have forgotten many things, but the one thing she could rely on, the one thing that stood the test of time, was Christ's truth and love.
I guess I start thinking about her, and a lot of times people say we are a lot alike, personality wise that is, and she is just an amazing role model. She is the thing that I think about when people refer to people of faith. This woman was amazing... she loved the lord, trusted the Lord, and knew that He would never leave her and always protect her. She knew his plan was better, even through the worst of times. I think about her, and I think about everything she went through, and stories I was told about her, and I just can't fathom having that faith. But, alas, I pray for that kind of faith. I pray for the faith and courage of when all else fails, that I would rely on the truth of Christ, and know His ways are better than my own, and his timing is better than mine.
I have been praying for many different things lately, and just confessing to the Lord my weaknesses, because lets face it, I can only be strong through Christ. It has been a frustrating time, but there is a sense of peace in it all. The Lord knows what He is doing... and bottom line, that should be enough for me. It should be enough for me that he has given me grace, and love, and has given me another day. I should focus on the here and now, and what He has called me to, today, instead of worrying about what is going to happen to me in the future. Now, if I could really just apply that and believe that, I would be doing good :)
The Lord's love is unfathomable, rich, kind, and full of grace. I am thankful for that.

Just a few thoughts... love you guys, thanks for listening.
Ashie