Oh Pride... How it does get the best of me sometimes!

So this week has been mind-numbing, for lack of a better word. I have never felt as if my brain could hold no more information. Now, you may think this is because I have just worked myself to the bone this week because I had so many tests, but sad to say, that is not why. This is has been one of those weeks in which the Lord has showed me what I need to work on. And, as you can probably guess from the Title of my blog tonight... it would be pride.
Pride is funny little thing. It creeps in when you least think it is, and also it is usually the root of most sin. As I am saying this I would like to write the verses to back this statement up... but being as I am looking through my Bible right now, and don't have my journal right here, I might have to put the verses on here later! I have this insane want to please everyone around them. The word for this is people-pleaser. Yes, unfortunatly, this is me. I want to make everyone happy, and if someone is unhappy, well... I want to cheer them up! (And for most of you that know me well... you know I tend to do this by breaking into song, making you a card, or making up a somewhat annoying cheer!) But, what I have really noticed is that I for one, have unreal expectations of others, and two am very prideful in the fact that I think that I am automatically make everyone happy. I take too much of a joy in it, so when I can't cheer someone up, or help solve someone's problem... I get down. Now, ladies and gents, this is my ugly friend Pride. I for some reason, not realy conciously, tend to think that I need to save the world. Which, as we already known, has been done by someone who is FAR greater than I. When I think about it, it is so ridiculous that I even try to do this... but, alas, I do.
Through a situation that I have been through recently, my pride has very much gotten in the way of my healing. I start to worry about what others are thinking of me, and worry that they may be judging my character, and thinking less of me. Honestly, my Mimi helped point this out to me at lunch today. I have this retarded issue of worrying about what others think of me, and it tends to affect me quite a bit. I would like to say I have gotten better at it... which I do believe I have, but in the past two weeks, I have failed miserably at being okay if I think someone is talking about me, or just thinking less of me without all the information. (Or just thinking bad of me in general) This has been my weak area.
Thursday was a day in which I really, REALLY got kicked in rear a couple of times! I had my pride pointed out to me by the Lord about 4 times that night. ha ha... and then of course, again Today. On the way home from church tonight, my friend Elise noticed how flustered that I am. And seriously guys, I just have never felt the way that I am feeling right now. I don't even know how to explain it..... but all I know, is that the Lord is good, faithful, and so so much more than I deserve. I am in awe of how he loves me, and loves me for the person I am right now, not for the person I am to become. My sweet Jesus loves me when my mind is on overload and I feel like I can't handle one more thing... He is there, constantly at my side. He is faithful, and I am not.

So... I know that I write a lot of lyrics on here, and maybe I should get a little more creative and come up with words of my own, but music is theraputic to my soul, so I am going to share some more lyrics that have really just been a good outlet for me this week.
This is just the chorus to In You by Shane and Shane:
In you I find my rest
In you I find my death
In you I find my all
My emptiness, somehow it all makes sense, In you
This is just how I have felt since Thursday. Shane and Shane always seem to know how I am feeling.. ha ha :)
And I Boast No More:
The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before thy throne
My faith can answer thy demands
By pleading what My Lord has done!!!!
No more my God
No more my God
No more my God
I boast no more

Well.. if you have made it to the end of this post, I thank you for listening. Sometimes writing on here can be theraputic :) I love you guys more than you know!
Ashie