Thoughts..

There are a few things that have changed within me in the past 6 1/2 months, and one of them is how much I believe in romance. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE romance, and I am one of those girls that will get overwhelmingly giddy when I hear an amazing love story, or all sappy when I watch or read one, but, yet, for me, I do not know how much I believe that they happen. Maybe I am just being cynical, and maybe this is just a stage I am going through, who knows.. but sometimes I wonder are things really genuine. Are there men out there who are genuine, and will not lie about things to make you feel better.. or even more honestly, to make themselves look better. Why is it that white lies look so wonderful at first to people, so much so that they choose to lie, and then in turn do not look at how it can affect a person in the long run. Maybe you are different, maybe you would like to be danced around the truth with to make things a little easier, but I would sure rather be told the truth.
Maybe it is the age I am at, maybe it is the amount of immature people (on both sides, male and female), or maybe it is a lack of communication, but I am ready for Mr. Genuine to come along. The thing is.. I may think I am ready, but I know the Lord has told me that I am not. So, for this fact, I will wait. I will wait for Mr. Genuine to come along, and romance me. Although a lot of my views have changed, I think that there is a Mr. Genuine out there for me. He is learning too, and may not even be ready to think about who he is going to marry, but I know the Lord is preparing me for someone, and that someone for me. So, maybe I can consider that romance. Maybe I should stop looking for "ideal" world version, and be content where I am. I need to be patient. I need to know that the Lord's plan is better, and to get ahead of him is not only dumb, but sinful.
So, don't judge me, but I am about to quote Grey's Anatomy: "And I think its better to have someone, even if it hurts. even if it is painful, even if it is the most painful thing you ever have to do, I think it is better to have someone."
My dreams of the ideal are not realistic, because in reality there is no ideal. I can hope, I can really want, but one thing I am learning is no one is perfect. We all mess up, that is how we are made, we are sinful. So when we were sat in front of TVs to watch these beautiful pictures and stories of love, how come no one told us that is not the way it is? I will answer that.. because who wants to have a dream deferred. No one really wants that, even if you are a person who constantly wants to live in Truth, and not have any sort of idealistic ambitions, I think, in someway, we all dream. Our dreams may be different, but we all hope in or for something. We all do it. So, we can sit, look and decide that it is dumb to hope in some dream that we have.. mine, being true love, or we can hope, and trust. We can trust that it will all work out in the end, and know that us worrying about it will not make it come any sooner. So I think that I am going to choose to do the latter. Now, I am probably going to have some rough days with this, but, in the end, I know I will choose the hope. It always seems to win out. Besides, what do we have to lose?