A few more pictures, updates and thoughts :)

oh, how time flies... I cannot believe that Christmas is over, and now we are about to usher in a new year. I'm excited however, for the new year!! Come on New year!! he he :) Christmas was soo much fun. This year was about as care-free as it gets, and I got to enjoy my family. I have not laughed that hard, or eaten that much in I don't know how long. My family makes me so happy. We really love each other so much, and I am so thankful for that.
I have gotten a lot of time to hang out with my baby brother, and that has been amazing as well. He is so great, and always just makes me feel better about life in general. My mom and dad have been great to hang out with as well... they make me realize how much of a stress-ball I am, and how much I need to just calm down and relax. This has been a reminder I was in much need of with school ending, and me embarking upon a new life.. whatever that may be.
I will be going to live with my grandparents for a little while until I find a job and have money to live on my own. They are amazing to let me come live with them, and I enjoy them so much. I think it will be good, although I am itching to have my own place.. I want to decorate and such. I am going to be looking for a job as well. As of right now, the plan is just to sub until I take the test in February, and then hopefully I will find a teaching job somewhere. (God is control)
God has been good to me this year... not that he usually isn't, but God has shown me so much in this past year.... I am thankful for that. More than any of you can know, I am thankful. I have been in a constant state of change, and when I think I can't handle anymore, he has continually taught me this year to look to him, and just give it over to him... and he will figure out the rest. :) This has been a good lesson for me to learn. I am so hard-headed... even now, after he has shown me so much. Maybe this year, I will become less hard-headed and more trusting of what the Lord has in store for me. Oh how great that would be, huh. :)
here are some things I would like to do in this coming year, although, I will NOT call them resolutions.. bc resolutions usually do not happen.
1. I hope to Pass the teaching exams and become an English Teacher.
2. Really become more involved in my church
3. Learn how to sew, so maybe I can actually try to design a few different pieces of clothing that I have drawn up...
4. Trust the Lord more, and continually go to Him, not forgettting what He has brought me through this year, and given me the courage to do this year.
5. Not stress so much and again, TRUST
6. overcome some personal "issues" I have
7. Be less selfish and more giving
8. Less materialistic... I'm working on this, but this is hard when you love fashion as much as I do, although this is NOT a good excuse.
9. Start running on a more normal basis.

One more thing before I go, by the way, thanks for hanging me with this long, if you have... But I have realized something tonight, that those of you that are close to me already might have known.. I am a romantic. I hope and want the ideal. I love romance. I love it when people get engaged... I love the idea of marraige, and watching people who are in love. I love to read about it, I love to watch it, I love weddings and everything they entail. I know marraige will not all be a fairy tale, or that is what I have been told, but I am obsessed with romance. I don't know if this is really that good of a thing, because this tends to drift into my thought life. Some people have very deep dream lives.. this may be mine. So I will be exploring that more... the good and the BAD of this... its good to be rational, but I also know, it is good to see the postive of things.. which I think I do when I get so excited about romance. Anybody with me on this one!?!?!

I love you all!! Enjoy the pics!!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Well, today has been fantastic!! I just wanted to get on here for a second and wish all of you a Merry Christmas!! :) I hope that you all are having, and had as wonderful of a time, as my family and I did!! Our Christmas was filled with lots of deep laughter, and lots of hugging! (A staple in the Keplinger/Swafford family lines!!) I say all this, but also remember the reason we are celebrating, and that would be OUR SWEET JESUS!! Aren't we so blessed that we have a Savior who came to this earth, and gave his blameless, spotless life for our dirty, guilty ones.
I really enjoy Christmas, sometimes a little too much... well, if that is humanly possible ;) What I mean by this is, I am the girl who starts listening to Christmas music in October, the person, everyone complains about when they must ride in the car with me when it is Halloween, and I have already started the Christmas season. Although I like to celebrate Christmas as early as possible, this year was very different in terms of how excited I was about it. I have yet to really share this on my blog, and I will not go into detail, but I broke off an engagement in July, and this has made this year a bit tramatic for me. Trumatic may not be the correct phrasing, however, it has been a year filled with major highs and lows. But God has been very present throughout this year, and I would not trade it for anything. I know that may sound crazy, but I say this with all honesty. I am a very sentimental person, and Christmas time being my favorite time of the year, I was a little more lerry, and ready for the Holiday season to be over since things were so different from how I planned them last year. I would find myself listening to the radio, or Christmas music, and just really wanting it to be over because of the memories it would bring to my mind... then on Christmas Eve while spending time with the Lord, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What is the reason for the season Ashley... ummm, that would be ME. Not whatever sentimental things or the commercial excitement you have associated with this holiday, no, it is Me, I am the reason for this time. After this dawned on me, everything seemed to really fall into place. Although I had some amazing times with people last year, and this year I am not in the same place as I was last year, or where I thought I would be, that does not matter. You see the Lord saved this person, this person with all her gross, filthy sin, took my place, so that I may be one of His children. This has just made me rethink a lot of things in my life.
Many of you may already be in this place, you may have realized this already when you pastor told you what the REAL reason for the season was, but for me, it has taken a little longer. I know many people may not agree that I should make myself so vulnerable before everyone who is reading my blog by referring to my broken engagement, but you know what.. no one is perfect, everyone has flaws, everyone has broken hearts sometime or another, and sometimes, I think it is when we get vulnerable with each other when the real healing begins.
The Lord has done a lot in my life this year, and I can choose to look at it in a negative way, or choose to view it in a positive light. The Lord has given me every reason in the world to view it in the positive light. Thank you Jesus for your Precious, Sweet, Sacrificing Son, and thank you for grace, and renewal when we seek you!! :)
I love you all, thanks for sharing in my life with me!! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!! :)

2007

1. DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR: Nicole Summerville... we went and got Sweet Tea from Chick-fil-A a lot this past year.
2. LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (LONGEST FRIEND) Nicole Summerville and Bjer
3. NEWCOMER AWARD (NEWEST FRIEND) All the Girls in my Homegroup :)
4. HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR: Learning God is enough.
5. LOW POINT OF THE YEAR: Several Lowpoints, and those of you closest to me probably know what the one low point would be....
6. BEST HOLIDAY: THANKSGIVING... and I would say Christmas, but it hasn't gotten here yet, although I think it will be a great one!!
7. YOUR SONG FOR 2007 : I have had quite a year, thus I have quite a soundtrack to my life, so I have several: You should have said no- Taylor Swift, I Boast No More- Caedmon's Call, The Village Worship CD, A Fine Frenzy... well the entire CD, and the entire Paramore CD. (I've had quite a year..) Oh, and Bethany Dillon has got me through quite a bit as well :)
8. MOVIE FOR 2007 BELLA!! Go see it!!
9. WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINE'S WITH? Brice.
10. WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN? Nothin, but I wore a Peanuts Halloween Shirt to my linguistics Class :)
11. BEST RELATIONSHIP: my relationship with Jesus
12. PARTY OF THE YEAR : ummm... I haven't really been to any parties I don't think.
13. BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR: Following what the Lord wanted me to do...
14. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR? Hopefully find a teaching job!!
15. TV SHOW OF THE YEAR: Tie between The Office and Grey's Anatomy
16. MOST LOYAL FRIEND: Elise Thoma
17. BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR: I think you know what it is if ya know me :)
18. BIGGEST INSPIRATION OF 2007:??
19. BIGGEST INSPIRATION OF 2008:??
.20. NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: Work out on a more regular basis to ensure a healthy lifestyle.

Ode to my Parents

My mom and Dad are so very in love, and I love it, and am so thankful for this. Since they have moved to Houston, I have not really gotten the oppurtunity to just come around and stay for awhile, but since the break I have been able to do this. Just to be around them is a joy, but even more than that, it is a lesson. They love each other so much. Not only is it that deep love, the love that has been built on respect and years of being together, but it is the giddy, they really, REALLY love each other kind of love. I mean, they are so cute, they kind of gross me out sometimes even! :) All this to say, I hope I am like that 20 years from now. I really hope, and pray that I am as in love with my husband as they are with each other. They love each other so much, and truely, truely think and know they are it for each other. The way my dad talks about my mom when she is not around, is only uplifting, and reflective upon the fact that he loves her so much. He not only loves her, he respects her as a person, and really loves her individuality. He does not stiffle anything about her, but rather, lets her be silly and fun, and yet, sees her deep side equally as well. My mom loves him just as much. Today, for instance, she spent the whole day working on the yard, so my dad would not have to do it before we left on Saturday. She was so excited for him to see it, and he was very appreciative. Even going out with my dad tonight, he thinks deeply about what gifts to get my mother. I mean, the amount of thought this man puts into presents should not be overlooked, he really wants my momma to be happy.
I know that there is no love that is like Christ's, and I also know that one should never think that a human's love can be a substitution for Christs love (which I think is an important lesson for us all) BUT it is nice to see my parents so in love with one another. It is not only refreshing, but encouraging.
I just had a really good night and past couple of days, and I am just so happy I have parents that are still so much in love. Thankful and Happy, that is what I am tonight.
Merry Christmas to all of you, if I do not post before then. I love you all more than you know!
Ashie

College Graduation

So, I am not offially a college graduate. Fun, huh!?!?! Now, I get to enjoy Christmas time, and then it is on to study for my Teaching Exams, and hopefully on to teaching!! yah!! I want to teach highschool English!! I am getting pretty excited about it, and trying not to be anxious about finding a job. I think what I have decided to do is just sub for awhile, since I will be studying for the test and taking it in February!!

Elf Yourself

Elf Yourself! See how I did it!
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1175740768

Thoughts..

There are a few things that have changed within me in the past 6 1/2 months, and one of them is how much I believe in romance. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE romance, and I am one of those girls that will get overwhelmingly giddy when I hear an amazing love story, or all sappy when I watch or read one, but, yet, for me, I do not know how much I believe that they happen. Maybe I am just being cynical, and maybe this is just a stage I am going through, who knows.. but sometimes I wonder are things really genuine. Are there men out there who are genuine, and will not lie about things to make you feel better.. or even more honestly, to make themselves look better. Why is it that white lies look so wonderful at first to people, so much so that they choose to lie, and then in turn do not look at how it can affect a person in the long run. Maybe you are different, maybe you would like to be danced around the truth with to make things a little easier, but I would sure rather be told the truth.
Maybe it is the age I am at, maybe it is the amount of immature people (on both sides, male and female), or maybe it is a lack of communication, but I am ready for Mr. Genuine to come along. The thing is.. I may think I am ready, but I know the Lord has told me that I am not. So, for this fact, I will wait. I will wait for Mr. Genuine to come along, and romance me. Although a lot of my views have changed, I think that there is a Mr. Genuine out there for me. He is learning too, and may not even be ready to think about who he is going to marry, but I know the Lord is preparing me for someone, and that someone for me. So, maybe I can consider that romance. Maybe I should stop looking for "ideal" world version, and be content where I am. I need to be patient. I need to know that the Lord's plan is better, and to get ahead of him is not only dumb, but sinful.
So, don't judge me, but I am about to quote Grey's Anatomy: "And I think its better to have someone, even if it hurts. even if it is painful, even if it is the most painful thing you ever have to do, I think it is better to have someone."
My dreams of the ideal are not realistic, because in reality there is no ideal. I can hope, I can really want, but one thing I am learning is no one is perfect. We all mess up, that is how we are made, we are sinful. So when we were sat in front of TVs to watch these beautiful pictures and stories of love, how come no one told us that is not the way it is? I will answer that.. because who wants to have a dream deferred. No one really wants that, even if you are a person who constantly wants to live in Truth, and not have any sort of idealistic ambitions, I think, in someway, we all dream. Our dreams may be different, but we all hope in or for something. We all do it. So, we can sit, look and decide that it is dumb to hope in some dream that we have.. mine, being true love, or we can hope, and trust. We can trust that it will all work out in the end, and know that us worrying about it will not make it come any sooner. So I think that I am going to choose to do the latter. Now, I am probably going to have some rough days with this, but, in the end, I know I will choose the hope. It always seems to win out. Besides, what do we have to lose?

Photo Shoot :)

Me

Alyssa

The Girls: Alyssa, Rachel, me and Elissa

me

again

The Girls again

Alyssa and I :)

We almost got hit by some cars for this one!! jk!! elise looked out for us :)

One of my best friends Elise (http://www.elise-marie.blogspot.com/) took a few photos, well about 300 shots or so, but she photoshopped a few for a project, and I would like to display some of her work!! The theme was Singin in the Rain!! She is ammmaazzinnggg :) Good Job Elise! If you would like to see more, you can go to her blog link that is listed above.

That is all for right now... who knows, I may post again tonight, or I may post sometime soon. Graduation is on Friday, and my whole family is coming in tomorrow night, so I should have some more pictures up soon. The Lord is showing me a lot of things right now, and my heart is very full, so I am sure I will have a lot to write soon. I am just sorting through many different thoughts right now. Love you guys ohhh sooo much!! :)

I surrender all

I have many thoughts going through my head, many of which are really worries. I am very worried about graduating, and what is going to happen after I graduate. In talking with about 3 other people that are also graduating in a week with me, I have realized that I am not the only one having anxieties about the upcoming graduation date, and what is to come after it. I guess I just thought as soon as I got out of school I would have people wanting to employ me. ha ha, I think most of us thought we would at least have 1 job lined up for after we graduate, yet now, we are afraid that we are going to have to go live back home forever and work at the mall. (not that there is anything wrong with working at the mall, but not exactly what I am shooting for for myself personally.) Yesterday I asked to be humbled, and let me tell you I was. I will leave out the details of how I was exactly humbled yesterday, but I find myself laughing and being grateful for the humor that the Lord has. I am so thankful that He loves me enough to humble me and show me that his grace and mercy is enough.
Last night, not even joking, I was so stressed out my jaw locked up. I literally could not open my mouth all the way. When I get stressed out my body seems to get very mad at me and do very weird, and things that are just annoying to deal with. Today I was reminded of the verse that says who of you adds one hour to their life by worrying? Sweet friends, I have lost a lot of hours to worrying and fretting, and not trusting the Lord with the Big stuff, and also the little details of life. I keep having dreams that something happens, and that I will not graduate. Me and my friends were talking about how everything is riding on us graduating... there are family members coming in, parties that are being given, along with food that has been bought for this one occasion. We are all so ready to be out of school, or so we think, and then we find ourselves really questioning if we are really, truly ready to get out into the real world, out of our little DBU bubble. I want so badly so many things, but I do not know if the Lord has those planned for my life. I keep going back and forth between teaching high school and just wanting to work with youth, or young women in a church. I have been feeling like the only way I can do things is through Christ, which really should just be a basic principle by now, but has taken me about 14 years to grasp. But what I mean by this is that my knowledge fails so much of the time. I get scared.. scared if I can teach someone, and impart knowledge to them. But when I am studying The Word, I feel so at home. Like it is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Maybe this is how everyone feels, and it is not a call to ministry, but then again, maybe it isn't? I have been praying through this for awhile now, but I really feel like the Lord is about to do a lot in me in the next couple of months. I am scared, and at the same time I feel like the Lord has been preparing me this for awhile. Who knows... maybe I am way off. But either way, the Lord is good, and he knows what HE is doing, and I cannot add one hour to my life by worrying. I also was reading the verse out of Jeremiah 10:23, that just pretty much says that man does not direct his own steps, but the Lord does. Thank Jesus for that!! :)
Well, this has been a nice little break from writing my discourse analysis for linguistics, but I must go back to the daily grind!! he he :) Love you guys, thanks for always listening.
Ashie

Some pictures...

So... I thought I would post some pictures since my blog is sooo lacking in this area. Being as I cannot find my camera cord for the life of me, these will have to do from now. Hopefully I will get the Thanksgiving pics up by Christmas! I love you all!! :)
ps- You like my new Christmas-y blog!?!?! It was in need a change!

Daddy, bjer and I

The girls at our UGG party!!

Me and Les smellin the fake flowers in Skittle.. aka my lime green bug!

Me and my daddy getting some camera time at PF Changs!!

Me and my bestest Cole after one of our sanity sessions! ha!

Me and Robin sippin on some starbucks on our way back from church!
This pic is from almost a year ago before the baseball banquest with Elise and Amanda!

Again, but with Cole, Blair, me and Steph!

Me and Cole after Homecoming... Doesn't she look beautiful!! She was in the court!

After Church, before homegroup, makin a sonic stop: Elise, Alyssa and I :)

Thearuptic

I don't know if this is just for me, actually I know from talking with some girls, that it isn't, however, just in the case that you have never done this I will preface with the famous "I don't know if this is just me..." but I am a big music therapy kind of girl. I LOVE music, and a lot of times I think the artists capture what my heart is feeling, but I cannot so readily get onto paper or out of my mouth like these amazing artists. My friend Elise has told me about a new group, well I don't know how new they are, but they are new to me.. anywho, she burnt me the CD, but I haven't gotten it from her so yesterday I went out and bought it. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
I tried to put their little CD cover on here.. but again, not technologically savvy enough.. its kind of annoying.
All this to say, you should really check them out. I go through stages with music, especially when I am going through a hard time, or trying to get over some things, and this CD is PEFECT for right now. Its melodious piano tunes make we want to just sit by the fire, perhaps drink a glass of wine, curl up with a warm, soft blanket and journal. This girl is freakin amazing with writing. I went to thier website as well, and there are journal entries. The website is www.afinefrenzy.com You should check it out!! This Cd is amazing, below I have written out some of her lyrics to a song. SOOOO GOOOOODDDD!!!!Near To You- A Fine Frenzy

near to you he and I had something beautiful

but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last

I loved him so but I let him go‘

cause I knew he'd never love me back

such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced

I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious

near to you, I am healing

but it's taking so long

'cause though he's gone and you are wonderful

it's hard to move on

yet, I'm better near to you.

you and I have something differentand I'm enjoying it cautiously

I'm battle scarred, but I am working oh so hard

to get back to who I used to be

he's disappearing, fading steadily

well, I'm so close to being yours, won’t you stay with me, please

near to you, I am healing

but it's taking so long

'cause though he's gone and you are wonderful

it’s hard to move on

yet, I'm better near to you

I only know that I am better where you are

I only know that I am better where you are

I only know that I belong where you are

near to you, I am healing

but it's taking so long

'cause though he's gone

and you are wonderfulit’s hard to move on

yet, I'm better near to you