I have gone home to Houston to gain a little perspective, and hopefully gain some clarity. School has been crazy... literally. I feel like I have no time to do anything. I need to clean my apartment so badly, deep clean, but I also have to study. And there is my personal life... getting older is hard. I am just not a big fan of it... but then again, I do not think I want to be 16 again. No way jose!! ha ha..
Tonight I went with my daddy to Barnes and Nobles and got a few books. This weekends goal: have some GREAT family time, read a LOT, and just get in the word! Tonight I got the books: Velvet Elvis (one of my really good friends told me it was amazing), Becoming Who God Intended by David Eckman, and Let me be Woman by Elisabeth Elliot. I am hoping to gain some perspective for with these books as well. A lofy goal, but worth trying. ;)
The passage that I am really trying to focus on right now is Jeremiah 17:5-10. This has really been making me think, and actually, I was brought to this passage last summer... which if interesting and bit ironic. Anyways, verse 9 says "The heart is decietful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" I guess the thing that I am really wrestling with is does that mean that emotions of the heart are bad... and if they are where is the line of good and bad. Of coarse I know that there are some emotions that can drag some "simple" situation into a larger and more "complicated" one, but at the same time.. are the feelings warranted? I guess, so far, my answer to this question is... I am not quite sure yet. I think that if you are in the word, and really, REALLY trying to follow what the Lord's will is, he will somehow give you clarity, or a peace of mind or something. I know there are dry times, but I just think that either way, God has a plan, and he is soveriegn, so his plan will previal. And then I think.. well I get WAY too carried away on emotions, and sometimes do not look at the truth enough. (or at least, this is what I have been told, so thus, I am trying to evaluate that as well.) Anyways, that is just what my heart is wrestling with right now. I am excited about what the Lord is teaching me, or at least I am trying to be :)
If you are reading this please pray for clarity of mind for me... and that I will trust in the Lord COMPLETLY. There is obviously a sector in my life I am not completly giving to the Lord, and I think he is showing me that. Scary.. he he :) But God is good!!
It is well, It is well, It is well with my soul!!
Love you guys, goodnight!
1 comment:
Hello Ashley!
I stumbled across your blog by doing an Elisabeth Elliot search...she is absolutely one of my favorite missionaries. Her books provided such goidly counsel and encouragement through some very "valley times". "Let me be Woman" is an excellent choice as you prepare for marriage. I read i during my engagement and it's WONDERFUL!!! It's a pretty easy read too.
congrats on your engagement! I have only been married 1 yr and 3 months, so I'm pretty new to the scene :) Sounds like you certainly have your hands full w/school and wedding planning...you can do it though. Keep in mind Phillipians 4 over and over! Let nothing mk you anxious, but through prayer and petition lay it before God. I planned my wedding in 3 months- it was hectic, but the Lord blessed us w/such a beautiful day...and of course it continues :) So, I say that just to assure you that as you strive to live for Him in every way...He is with you, will bring your peace b/c that's who He is and everything will fall into perfect place.
I too struggled with the verse you mentioned in Jeremiah. I have head some use it out of context....I think you're on the right track...I think that it's important we connect that our heart is the well-spring of life..Remember when Jesus says, "for where your treasure is, there your heart will also be?" I think this relates to Jeremiah's verse. Our heart is deceitful, but when it's focused on Jesus and not on "our way" we can trust the living water He provides. Does this mk sense? This is a tough verse and if anything I guess it's great to keep in perspective who we are and what we are capable of when we stray from God's will. As you said, He's sovereign, so we can take comfort in that!
I wish you the best and feel free to write anytime...Happy reading and hope you enjoy your family time.
In Christ,
Spring
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