Jaded Beauty

As woman, we all have that tendency to pick ourselves apart. Although some women might be more forthcoming with what they see wrong with themselves, I still believe most women, if not all, scrutinize about the way the look, feel, or may be perceived. Some women may mask this with overconfidence, wearing clothes that show off their figures, or buying things that make them feel better. Others might completely obliterate any good qualities that can be perceived from others because they have such a low view of the beauty of who they are. I tend to be on the pendulum that swings from one extreme to the other.

Jaded beauty these days is much of what we look like, how we are perceived and even more so, what we want to be perceived as. Do you want to be perceived as someone who does not care what people think, or do you want to make sure everyone takes notice of you and who you are? The thing is, I think we all long to be known as women. We long for someone to come along, take notice and not only be drawn to us, but rather be CAPTIVATED by us. We do not want them to just see our outward beauty and be taken by that (even though that is nice to think about) but we want them to notice all of us. We long for someone to see our quirks and love us just the same as they did before they found out about them. When thinking about the word "jaded" I start to think about where we have gone wrong in deciding what makes someone beautiful. We don't necessarily look at unique qualities within a woman, but rather compare them to ourselves and think what we might do to make ourselves better or more desirable than the next. We play the "comparison game" rather than looking at ourselves and working on inward beauty.

I know that when I see someone who is physically more fit than I am or skinnier, has that amazing body we may all covet, I struggle with comparison and then try to come up with a plan to be the next Victoria Secret beauty. I don't want to be ordinary, but rather extraordinary. I want others to think I am the best....aww, jaded beauty. Jaded beauty can also be looked at as pride. Thwarted pride or just all out "I am the best looking woman in here" kind of pride...either way, we are all jaded. We don't try to make our inward beauty shine because we are too worried about what others may think, or how we feel our bodies look that day, or what size we used to be, or that blemish that ever-so-suddenly appeared on our face when we have something really big we need to look GREAT for that particular day. We scrutinize over how we can do better and look better and how today will be different and we will feel differently tomorrow if we just do something different tomorrow (make ourselves better).

I would wager to say Jaded beauty is not something new that has just happened in this century. Sure, we have a new definition of beauty than they had in the 19th century, but have we really changed our thinking over how to be beautiful? I don't think so. Yes, we may have sky-high ads of the "perfect" Jenn Anniston drinking her smart water with her long luscious hair that makes us feel a bit down on that extra cupcake we indulged in today, or not working out in a week. But do you not think that they may have had beauty standards back in the day that were similar, just maybe not posted on billboards?! (And don't get me wrong, I love me some Jennifer Anniston...just saying the girl looks great in all ads BUT it is posted everywhere ya look). I guess what I am getting at here is honestly, until I start looking at what is inside me and what the Lord has made me to be,do I honestly get closer to the "beauty" model that I am supposed to be longing after. I still struggle with it on a daily basis, and probably more like an hourly basis on a bad day, thinking about how I look, how i am perceived and other such things that are really not important to my quality of life in the long run. However, it is still there... the way you fix that is finding your worth in something that is not of you. I honestly do not think there is a way to find worth unless you are looking at the Creator who made you. He knows every hair on your head and made you unique for a reason. We all have a purpose for being here, and in that, I think we should rejoice. He has made us unique. He didn't make us all look the same, act the same, or have the same figure, because (as I think of it) it would be BORING. What is unique about everyone being the same?? So, why do we long for that on such a constant basis?

Maybe, you are different. Maybe you don't really struggle with the whole beauty issue. That is AWESOME if that is so. But, for me, I must say I struggle with this very frequently and the only way I find solace in this situation is by realizing that the Lord did not call me to be a size 2 for my life mission. He called me to "work with willing hands, have a heart that people can trust in, dresses herself with strength, opens her hands to be poor and reaches out her hands to the needy, strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at days to come, opens her mouth up with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue, she does not participate in idleness and most of all she remembers CHARM IS DECEITFUL AND BEAUTY IS VAIN BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED." (paraphrased a bit...from Proverbs 31).

Oh, to be that woman.

Love you all!