"Hush now, put that thought down.."

Have you ever imagined what life would be like without a season change? How greatly our moods might be affected if there was never a change. If there was only super hot summers or bitterly cold, dreary winters. Even the most perfect fall days might become tiresome due to them becoming just ordinary to us. I have been thinking a lot on this here lately. I don't know if the weather has prompted this in me due to the fact that it has been a sweltering 100-something degrees and no matter where you go you are reminded how happy you are that it will be getting cooler sometime in the near future. It is almost like that reprieve is encouraging in some sort of way, even in the midst of the 100 degree weather. The Lord has done a lot in my heart this past year. Where I was a year ago and where I am now are completely different heart postures. He has brought people in and out of my life that have really showed me different things and he has also taken me through times that were hard and tiresome and has brought me to the other side of them within the past year. It is interesting to me how sweet and gracious our God is. He continually amazes me in how He loves me and pursues me even though I am sinful. I am constantly insecure or fearful in situations, but continues to surround me with truth and love this child of his who doesn't always believe or trust Him. Here lately, the Lord has really been talking to me about Trust and belief. Many times I say that I believe that the Lord is in control or that I truly trust what the Lord is doing, when in all actuality believing God and believing in God are two very different things. God, has been showing me a lot of this this past summer. To be quite honest with you, when things go good for me, I am very skeptical on how they will end up. Whether that be relationships, or school, or really anything in my life. I have learned to play out the worst possible scenario to "protect" myself in case something really bad happens. This might come because that is the way that I decided to "protect" myself after some stuff happened that I had never planned on happening in my life. Who knows, but regardless of how or why I started doing this, the Lord and some of my very close friends have called me out on this this past summer. My dad actually called me out on it as well (My Dad is good at calling me out on such things...;)). The more that I have been called out on this by the people whom I love, I have also lovingly been called out by my Heavenly Father. I swear, every time I was called out about such things there was some sort of scripture that was in my Bible study that day or that before I spoke with my friends about what trust and belief looks like. Just saying I believe God does not really mean that I am trusting him with what he is doing and actually believe in what I think He has been showing me. Convicting for sure. God has been so gracious to me. He has far exceeded any plans I would have had for myself at this point in my life. Yes, there were a few things in college and right out of college that I may not have planned out personally for myself, but how gracious He has been to bring out about a life that I could have never imagined. I am doing something I love. I LOVE to teach. LOVE it. The Lord has allowed me to do something that I have dreamed about since I was 5, literally. I love how the Lord has stirred my affections for Him through the profession He has chosen to allow me to be apart of. I have always had such a heart for ministry and for youth, and He has allowed me to do coach young girls, use my personal experiences to talk and relate with them and love on them. He has allowed me to be in a school where the kids are not loved on too much by their parents, and let's face it, if you know me you know how much I like to tell you I love you or how much I want you to know how special you are, and I get to do that on a daily basis with these kiddos!! AND, I get to teach English. And I love that part of it, too. I say all this, because I was thinking on how easily I choose to believe that something bad is going to happen. Yet, the Lord has OBVIOUSLY taken care of me, even when things have not gone as planned. Who am I to question my sovereign King?? Seriously, the Lord has overwhelmingly been showing me these FACTS about who He is and who I say He is, and who I choose to believe He is. I think it is easy to doubt, but as women, I think we are especially susceptible to worry, doubt, fear, etc. We choose to dwell on the "what ifs" or how we may feel like we don't measure up, or what we lack, rather than focusing on what the Lord has showed us or the certainty of God's promises. How different would our lives be if we lived in constant belief that Christ is true to His Word. That He has every intention of making his name renown, and that He has paid the ultimate price for our salvation and that he knows every hair on our head. I mean, if the Lord knows that, and cares enough to know that, surely He cares about how I am doing and knows the plans He has for me.
The Lord had me turn to Hebrews 6:10-20 the other day. Honestly, I turned to the wrong book and started reading and thought, MAN Lord that is awesome and totally what I needed to hear, but didn't really fit exactly with what the question asked me in the Bible study, only to realize I turned to the wrong book. But, I also needed to read what I accidentally turned to. ha, I LOVE when the Lord does that! So cool and totally not coincidental if you ask me. ;)
Anyways, Hebrews 6 is talking about the certainty of God's Promise. In my walk with Christ, the Lord has constantly pointed me towards such men as Moses and Abraham in my studies. I don't know why that is, other than I have a lot to learn, and these men are great examples of faith and also what to do, but also how they reacted and how things happened because they reacted in certain ways.

"For God is not so unjust to overlook your work and the love that you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater by woe to swear, he swore by himself, saying, "Surely I will bless you and multiply you." And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise. For people swear by something greater than themselves, and in all their disputes an oath is final for confirmation. So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek."
Hebrews 6:10-20

I guess the point of this post is to say, Why don't I believe in what the Lord is doing more? Why don't I trust that He has put me here for a reason, and He will not lead me astray. Why do I not trust, that at times, even if things are hard or difficult to walk through, that He will bring me out of it and into another season. Why do I not believe that He longs to love me and bless faithfulness? Probably because I know I can be wayward. BUT, the Lord is sweet to forgive us and to love us even though He knows we are not perfect and that we are going to mess up. I can rest in the fact that He knows my heart and because of that and despite that, He still loves me. That, to me, is the best news I have ever heard. And even if something happens where things don't go as planned, I have Christ. Shouldn't that be enough? It just makes me giddy knowing the Lord loves me THAT much. How, sweet He is. and OH, how He loves us. If only I would live my life out daily believing that and understanding that today was given as a gift to live out of Him and that He knows that He is doing FAR better than I ever will or plan. How different I would live.

I leave you with some lyrics from a song that I am LOVING right now. For any women that read this blog, I HIGHLY recommend this CD. You can get it on Itunes and it is Donna Stuart's "Help Me Believe". Here are some of the lyrics...or, well I tried. ;) Ha, I couldn't find all the lyrics. BUT LISTEN TO HER CD, LADIES...you won't regret it! :)

This is from Blue Skies-
Quiet now, calm down, I am not going, going anywhere.
Get up now, I know you fell down, you were never meant to stay there.
Dust your knees, look at me, no I am not disappointed.
Have faith in me, please believe, I am not here, I'm not to condemn.

I am your blue skies through clouds of rain
I am your lamb of promise that I will stay
I want you to remain. I want you to obey. Me.

Hush now, put that thought down, that's not who, who you really are.
Come now, I will show you how, I will show you how to keep in step with the Spirit in your heart.

Put your hope in me. Put your trust in me. Put your hope in me. Put your Trust in me.


I LOVE YOUUUU ALL! :)
ash:)