Someone got shot at my apartments yesterday around 12. The first thing I thought about was not whether the people were okay, but what vicinity they were to my apartment. Did someone break into my apartment? Did someone mess with my stuff or my dog? Then, when I found out what was on the news and also checked my apartment my mind turned to blame. How could the apartments let this go on? Where am I living? Why would this happen to MY apartment complex. (Recognizing a theme here anyone???) Oh yes, that is right, I was worried about me, and scared. Being scared might be warranted, but my reaction was not. I realized that today when I was talking to my kids. My kids, as I have said before, do not have the best lives. They are living in areas where people getting shot at is the norm. Their family members do drugs and sell drugs. They are constantly having to make sure that they are safe and trying to take precautionary measures to be safe. One of these measures is more times than not either joining a gang, or getting to know certain people who will protect them. Today when I said that someone had gotten shot at my apartment complex, some kids told me thier stories. I found out some of my kids live alone. Some of my kids have pulled guns on people because they had a gun pulled on them. Some of my babies have had thier apartments broken into and many things stolen, but no mom or dad in the picture, so they are left to fin for themselves. The thing that killed me about all thier stories today was the fact that they think it's okay. They think that it is normal to "sleep with a loaded gun under their pillow", or for thier place to be repeatedly broken into, for them to be treated less than they are for the way they look and how they have grown up, for thier families to be in gangs, to go get high to forget about the day...I could go on and on. I do not tell you this to alarm you at what kind of shenanigans are going on at my school, and for some of you whom have never interacted with babies like mine, you might be oh, so ignorant to say that they deserve it. But, oh, how I can tell you that they don't. These are lovely people. A little rough on the outside, but they have the BEST hearts. I call them my family, and I really mean it. I love them. I want what is best for them, and oh, how selfish I felt and silly when I heard their stories. Miss. Kep, young white girl with money to spare is complaining about the fact that someone got shot in her apartment complex, when they have seen this many of times. I literally have more students than I can count on two hands that have seen people get shot and actually die. I am not joking you. And I know they aren't lying. Death is very real to them, and where I am sure there are way rougher schools than ours, I can assure you that these babies have to deal with hard stuff and come from hard things. Today I even had a kid tell me he smoked weed because he started failing his classes and the only way to make himself feel better was to start that. My kids are hurting. My kids, although not always in the right, and at times do fib to people about things, really, really, REALLY need Jesus. They need someone to care. They need love. Oh, how I long for that for them. Oh, how I long that they graduate and move on in life.
Oh, how we need Jesus.
This song has been on my heart today, so I "youtubed" a video of it for y'all to watch!
love you and again...thanks for listening.
1 comment:
i'm not even sure how i stumbled across your blog, but keep up the hard work and living well for Jesus.
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