Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must first finish its work so that you may be mature and complete and not lacking anything.
James 1:2-3
It is for Freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery!
Galatians 5:1
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways aknowledge him; and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Do not store up treasures for yourselves on Earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and dust don't destroy...for where your treasure is your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21
For the past couple of days I have had a lot on my mind. Blame it on the down time that I have not had in the past year, but, nevertheless, here it is. I am also tired which instead of causing me to sleep, usually causes my mind to wander about in many different ways and causes me to overanalyze and project. If you know me at all, you know this is very true. This weekend a once, very dear friend of mine is getting married. It is not a wedding that I am invited to, nor should I be. This has brought me into a spin of thinking that has brought tiny bits of sadness here and there, but has also brought me into a thankfulness for how far the Lord has brought me in the past 2 years. (2 years goes by fast!) As this person goes on to be in wedded bliss, it makes me think of all the good times we had together, as well as the bad...but overall, I just hope that this person is happy. I am not Jesus and I have no control over any situation, thus little Miss. Control has to check herself daily especially when I get sad or down or just start feeling weird about such situations. I, myself, might have planned my life differently, but the only thing I keep coming to is how Sweet my Jesus is that he has allowed me to become soo deeply in love with Him instead of having a love that is on this Earth right now. That is far beyond any blessing I could ask for, and although I do desire to have someone to cuddle, hug, or just love on at times..how great it is that the Lord has allowed me to find him so intimately in the past 2 years. My love for Him has only grown, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for my amazing, core group of friends that have showed me what it is to be a friend and what a TRUE friend looks like. They love me unconditionally and have been with me through all of the tears and joys and freak-outs along the way. The Lord has finally brought me to a place where I can see somewhat of what he has been doing it, and perhaps, why he might be doing it. I know nothing of the BIGGER PICTURE, but I do know his Kingdom will be glorified through me as long as he so allows it. He is a gracious, loving God that loves me and desires for my heart to be His. HE never disapoints and you cannot say that about anyone else. I have gotten to taste and see his goodness and how great it is to be 23 and be able to say that. I have seen his sweet hand through the lives of my kids and how smoothly this year went. It was only the Lord that I was able to connect with my kids this year and how amazingly everything went. It is only the Lord that the kids saw how much I love them...as well, as me having any patience when they got under my skin. :) IT is the Lord that I have started to see my life being a life that is constantly trying to be defined by the Gospel, and it is ONLY the Lord that I am in a profession that I really feel like I am doing ministry EVERY day. What is so cool about that is as much as I have ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher, I have also felt called to ministry. And here I am...doing something where I get to minister to kids everyday. (well, except for a month over the summer..) BUT how gracious is my LOVE, JESUS that he allows me to do this with my life!!!! It is more than an occupation, it is a way of life, and for that I am forever grateful and appreciative.
Please, if you read this, be praying for me this week and weekend. I will probably need the prayers :) As much as I know I am where I need to be, it does not make memories go away or feelings to cease. When things come up that you did not know were still there it is hard to shush them...however, I know the Lord is in the process of completely shutting the door or closing this chapter and opening a brand new one! That should be fun...haha. We will see what the Lord has in store. Thank you to all my sweet friends for being there for me so constantly in the past two years and for really loving me and helping me to see Christ in all situations. You have meant more to me than you will ever know!!!!
I love you all...Till Later,
Ashie
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