Here it is:
Today, on this beautiful fall morning while driving with the windows down and listening to some John Coltrane in the background I started to reflect and think. When these "thinking/reflection" (for lack of a better word) comes on I love to take advantage of it. Writing it sometimes helps to process my thoughts.
The past year and a half has been a true, growing and defining time in my life. Never, would I have thought up the way the Lord has chosen to mature me and shape and mold me so that I know that I truely only should be living for him...and him alone. I am now at a point where the Lord has shown me all these different things through truely being brokenhearted. He has shown me He is near to the broken-hearted and constantly there when you call on him. I cannot imagine my life without my Savior or the goodness, love, joy and peace He alone has brought to my life.
I am now a point where everything he has showed me is meant to be implemented. For the first time in my life I am living by myself, paying my own bills, and I have a full-time job. The transition from college life to the "work world" has really required a shift in thinking and living. College ends and you start to see some friendships start to dissenegrate (which sucks, but each individual is now going down a different path), and then it becomes a time when you start to see relationships in a new light. I think you start to appreciate them more than you once did. You are more thankful for the deep, abiding relationships that you do have. You recognize the difference in these relationships versus the old. It does not mean that the old relationships were not meaningful or that they did not play a huge part in your life...things just change. That is part of life.
Many of my friends are now either married or have met the person they believe that they will marry. This is also an interesting time for someone who is very, very single.(Haha..I am so dramatic.) I believe the Lord is growing me tremendously when it comes to this area of my life. Please do not hear me saying that I feel as though I have arrived. I believe whole-heartidly that the Lord can deliever us from whatever He so chooses, however when we start to believe we have arrived or overcome too much of our selves are in that thinking; thus proving we are still flawed and in fact have not arrived. (I apologize for my rant... I digress). All this to say where I would have been blue because my close friends have this (of what I have past and still at times percieve as true happiness) the Lord has now reformed my thinking to know that may not be what He has for me now. I am single, and for the first time in my life I am okay with that. I know I will be fine, and even more honestly I do not need a male to complete me. My thinking and heart have been transformed by the fact that the Lord's love is all I need. Although I do desire to meet my perfect one, I know that it will only be right in the Lord's sweet timing. This revelation and peace can only be seen as from Jesus. Even a month ago I was not believing that the Lord had a plan for me. Then all of a sudden...in His timing, there was a breakthrough. The breakthrough has not come without many trials, tears and even tests; but how sweet He is to challenge and allow me to be tested and see that when I trust in his sweet name I become completely secure in him.
So although this stage may not be what I planned: 22 (almost 23), single, living alone,teaching and still learning; I am thankful. Thankful the Lord has provided clarity at times, unending grace,peace, and some good friends that I can talk deeply with. I am thankful for a job that I have always wanted and feel like the Lord has been preparing me for. My hope is the Lord will continue to grow, shape, and mold me into who He wants me to be and that eventually in the future I will find someone who has a deep, abiding love for the Lord and will listen to my dumb stories and enjoy my quirkiness. I hope to sit outside and dream and reflect on the Lord's goodness with that special one and that He will challenge me to be the woman that the Lord has created me to be over a cup of Joe. Until then I truely hope that I continue to seek to find my worth and love in the Lord and that I continue to see his hand in all situations. Thank you for your grace, peace and love sweet Jesus.
The past year and a half has been a true, growing and defining time in my life. Never, would I have thought up the way the Lord has chosen to mature me and shape and mold me so that I know that I truely only should be living for him...and him alone. I am now at a point where the Lord has shown me all these different things through truely being brokenhearted. He has shown me He is near to the broken-hearted and constantly there when you call on him. I cannot imagine my life without my Savior or the goodness, love, joy and peace He alone has brought to my life.
I am now a point where everything he has showed me is meant to be implemented. For the first time in my life I am living by myself, paying my own bills, and I have a full-time job. The transition from college life to the "work world" has really required a shift in thinking and living. College ends and you start to see some friendships start to dissenegrate (which sucks, but each individual is now going down a different path), and then it becomes a time when you start to see relationships in a new light. I think you start to appreciate them more than you once did. You are more thankful for the deep, abiding relationships that you do have. You recognize the difference in these relationships versus the old. It does not mean that the old relationships were not meaningful or that they did not play a huge part in your life...things just change. That is part of life.
Many of my friends are now either married or have met the person they believe that they will marry. This is also an interesting time for someone who is very, very single.(Haha..I am so dramatic.) I believe the Lord is growing me tremendously when it comes to this area of my life. Please do not hear me saying that I feel as though I have arrived. I believe whole-heartidly that the Lord can deliever us from whatever He so chooses, however when we start to believe we have arrived or overcome too much of our selves are in that thinking; thus proving we are still flawed and in fact have not arrived. (I apologize for my rant... I digress). All this to say where I would have been blue because my close friends have this (of what I have past and still at times percieve as true happiness) the Lord has now reformed my thinking to know that may not be what He has for me now. I am single, and for the first time in my life I am okay with that. I know I will be fine, and even more honestly I do not need a male to complete me. My thinking and heart have been transformed by the fact that the Lord's love is all I need. Although I do desire to meet my perfect one, I know that it will only be right in the Lord's sweet timing. This revelation and peace can only be seen as from Jesus. Even a month ago I was not believing that the Lord had a plan for me. Then all of a sudden...in His timing, there was a breakthrough. The breakthrough has not come without many trials, tears and even tests; but how sweet He is to challenge and allow me to be tested and see that when I trust in his sweet name I become completely secure in him.
So although this stage may not be what I planned: 22 (almost 23), single, living alone,teaching and still learning; I am thankful. Thankful the Lord has provided clarity at times, unending grace,peace, and some good friends that I can talk deeply with. I am thankful for a job that I have always wanted and feel like the Lord has been preparing me for. My hope is the Lord will continue to grow, shape, and mold me into who He wants me to be and that eventually in the future I will find someone who has a deep, abiding love for the Lord and will listen to my dumb stories and enjoy my quirkiness. I hope to sit outside and dream and reflect on the Lord's goodness with that special one and that He will challenge me to be the woman that the Lord has created me to be over a cup of Joe. Until then I truely hope that I continue to seek to find my worth and love in the Lord and that I continue to see his hand in all situations. Thank you for your grace, peace and love sweet Jesus.
And for good measure: thanks for listening ;)
1 comment:
Great reflections on life and the Lord. A Joy to read.
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