Do you have ever have days where you pretend you are someone else? Maybe you do not pretend…but in your head you think about what it would be like to be someone else. I think about living in the city, and having a indispensable amount of money. I am single, and shop however I would like and wear some of the most fabulous trends. I am a writer. This is how I fund my addiction that is called shopping. I live in tweed suits with Chanel purses and Christian lubuiton heels. I flit about my apartment that is a tie between anthropologie and new-york comfort. I am not scared to live alone, but have embraced it. I see myself as an independent woman whom is capable of anything that I set my mind to. I write to old music that stirs my brain into a tizzy and creates some of the most amazing works. People think of me as not only a literary genius, but as someone who does not have to follow regular grammar rules but adheres to her own set of rules in which the sentence structure surprises and woos the reader to continue on in each “work of art”.
Then…I come back to life. My life, albeit not near as glamorous does have many perks. This week may not have been one of the most amazing weeks of my life, but still, at the end of the day, I know there is much to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head. I live in an apartment, by myself, which I pay for on my own. I do not have much debt, other than the wonderful school loans I incurred while at DBU, and I have yet to have a credit card to my name. (My Pap said that would probably be the worst possible thing for me…that I have to agree. I may not have a life with an indispensable amount of money, but at times I would like to act like it). There are a lot of reasons to be unhappy in life, but there are also a lot of reasons to look on the bright side of things. To look at the side of things where there are possibilities and perhaps, they are endless. Perhaps you can do anything you put your mind to, and you can be almost anything you would like to be. It may be in a slightly smaller realm of popularity, for instance- I would LOVE for everyone to find me witty and ingenious when it comes to my comments, but for right now I have a group of friends and dear family that will, if nothing else, indulge my need to feel loved and laugh at my jokes. Life is not always about checks and balances, or right and wrong, but sometimes it is how you live it. Yes, I believe Christ is the reason for why I get through my day, and ultimately who I live for… but at times I think I forget to live.- to take the opportunities given to me and to not look back. To look at every mistake or frustration, or disappointment and instead of wallowing in it, or reliving it second my second, be thankful for the new second I am still living in. Things may not be perfect. I may not be the most clean or organized, or have the most well-put together apartment due to my MESSINESS (a big AMEN to that..) but I am Ashley. There is no one else like me. Just like there is no one else like you. If we were all created in a way that was wonderful, then why don’t we live that out. Why don’t we take pleasure in that? Why, do we insist upon dwelling in the past and looking at ourselves as what we once were instead of looking into what we are becoming?
This is going to be my new mantra. This year, I will try to stop living in the past. I will try to stop counting every mistake, and start looking at the grace that is afforded me by Christ. I will try to give others more grace and see this as a journey, that may have bad days, but is taking me to an ultimate goal. I also vow to unclutter my life which may take a while. This may not seem to be as big of an undertaking, but trust me my friend… I still have In Style magazines from 2006. One would not call that healthy, or clutter-free.
This is my vow. I will keep you updated.
~Inspired by the movie Julie and Julia.
