Note to self- find things to preoccupy yourself during the summer so you do not feel so sad during the days.
Thank you,
Ash
May I just tell you that I am way more of a people person that I am a loner? As much as I love to have my free, by-myself time, I suck at it when it is all the time. And this living SO far out from all my friends in Dallas, Highland Village and Denton is killing me a bit. The thing is I know the Lord has me here for a reason, but it is the ever-so-present urging that comes out about wanting to live in a different city when summer hits and all of a sudden I have this free time that I wish I had during the school year. Oh, goodness me...the grass is always greener on the other side, huh?
The Lord is showing me so much in this "wonderful" alone time that I have right now...but with that amazingness comes this angst that I cannot describe fully, other than just telling you, I have a spirit-filled angst. My soul is in this constant kind of longing for Jesus and that is alone is super cool, but I feel like the Lord is showing me so many things about myself and just things in my life that it can a bit overwhelming to say the least. With this growth comes major growing pains and with the growing pains comes this amazing desire for the hurting to stop..ya know? The Lord seems to really work on my heart the most admist times like this for some reason. The weightiness of what He is showing me though is exhausting. but again, so good. I know that may not make sense, but to those of you that have been in this exact place, I know you know where I am coming from. Letting go and letting God is something that I am constantly trying to grasp, understand and achieve, but I am finding when I start to try to achieve this this is where the problem starts. Again, it is not for ME to grasp, but for Him to show me. There is such a beauty and again, such angst in realizing this. Miss. Perfectionist Ashley is learning and missing what constantly stirs my affections for Christ, but I know he is preparing me for something...what that something is, who knows. All, I know is being kingdom-minded is something that is to be attained and the Lord is showering so much love when times get a little much. Praise his name!
I love you guys...liter post next time, perhaps?
ps- If you went to church this weekend and heard Matt's message, when he mentioned..are you living in a way that is kingdom-minded? With your money, friends, family, etc.? Hit me right between the eyes. Man, oh man...
Love you guys, oh so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment